White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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