Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
