I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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