she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
