David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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