dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
