I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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