I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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