walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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