Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
