Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
