Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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