hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize