Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize