I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
