I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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