wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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