the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
