they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
