Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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