my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
