"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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