Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize