do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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