i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
