Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
