After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
