So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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