tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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