i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
