im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
