Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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