There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
