garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
