Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
