i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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