i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
