So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
