Sry I called you an 8
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Couch. On fire.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
