Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
