Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
