I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize