Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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