the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Pants are for mortals
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize