don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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