I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
