dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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