Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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