You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
