Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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