my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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