I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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