I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
