Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
