I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
