We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
