I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize