they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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