Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
