I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
