The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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