we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
